Letting Go 101
All week it seems I have been asked the question at every turn, “How do I know when it is time to let go?” It could be in regards to a friend, intimate relationship, a job, a commitment to an organization, your family, or even a move you want to make. If you too have this question and are uncertain about what is best to do, here are some markers that are very easy to recognize, that may help you to decide if it is time to let go. Be honest about how you feel.
- You feel way more obligation than inspiration. Anytime you are in a relationship based on obligation, it will lead to resentment. Whenever it’s a “should,” it limits our freedom and takes away from our power to make choices based on what the best use of our energy is. Whenever you stay in a situation or relationship because you “have to,” you are holding yourself back from living a full life.
- You feel like the situation is SO challenging. I’m not saying that life isn’t tough, because it is. However, if the situation you are in takes a lot of your time and energy (not the good kind) and you are constantly working to make it better by trying to fix it, change it, coddle it, yell at it, etc. it’s likely not right for you. Feeling centered, balanced and peaceful is a result of being in a good place in your life. If this situation is making you feel otherwise, it may be time to let go.
- You most definitely do not feel valued. If you have to constantly fight to show how valuable you are, and have to wait to be appreciated for what you do, or even have to make excuses for who you are, then it may be time. When you give something your all, and do not feel the equal return of that energy, its time you value yourself and make a move. When you make a hard choice to value yourself, you will be amazed at what shows up in your life. Do not accept less than you know you deserve.
- You are staying for the wrong reason. If you have to compromise yourself in anyway – meaning that you want to make someone else feel better, or you are accommodating everyone else but yourself and not taking into consideration your own needs, face the truth. Once you move on, believe me, someone else will fill that space and you’ll be on to things that are more aligned with who you are today. Do not betray yourself to constantly please others.
- You are afraid to make a move. We often stay in situations because we are afraid of the future and what may or may not happen should we make changes. It is a proven scientific fact that human beings always imagine the future to be scarier and more difficult to manage than the reality of what it’s like when you get there. Also, remember, that when you follow what you know to be true in your heart, and take that step, the support and opportunities come forth to support.
Letting go is not easy, and there are so many reasons that you have likely already come up with as to why you shouldn’t or “can’t.” Instead, list the benefits to yourself and the other party should you let go. When you stack up enough benefits, letting go will be a natural next step.